#but it's important to do

[roseofbattles]

This has become something of a tradition at this point so ten good things that have happened this year/things I'm proud of!

Greatest Hits of 2023

1. TRAVEL. I went a lot of cool places this year which after the last few years felt like a big deal. Highlights were a trip to Boston with a group of old friends, and a trip to NYC with a group of new friends 💗

2. I got a lot closer to my reading goal with 41 books this year - if I finish the book I'm currently reading before the end of the year. I really loved reading The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin and The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller.

3. My garden has done great this year - that's the best part of where I live in California 100% is that I can grow things year round. I picked more tomatoes this week and am growing so many other things.

4. A lot of writing happened this year - less fanfic and a lot more original work. I'm hoping to finish the first draft of my novel in 2024. I'm really proud of what I've accomplished with it so far - it's my longest piece so far at ~75k words

5. I tried a lot of new recipes this year with a lot of success! Cooking is something I love but struggle to do for myself so it's been really helpful cooking virtually with a friend every other week. Favorites included: 20 minute creamy sausage and gnocchi and coconut curry chicken meatballs I also made Yor's stew which was delicious!

6. I sent a lot of letters this year! I've always loved to but I made a concerted effort to send more this year. It's always a joy to hear when someone gets one, or getting one back. (If anyone wants a pen pal lmk ;))

7. My Spanish has improved! I knew virtually no Spanish when I moved to California but I'm able to have basic conversation with my coworkers now which is very exciting. Learning a second language has been a goal of mine for a long time and being around people who speak another language every day is definitely helping me practice.

8. Saw two new musicals: Le Mis and Hadestown (I know I'm one hundred years late to Le Mis) but I had forgotten how nice it was to see live performances like that. Both were incredible

9. Lots of time with new friends and old this year was a highlight; having people visit from out of state and also over to play board games

10. Survived a lot of bad things! Including a terrible roommate and a lot of stress related to that. That's been a huge improvement.

Bonus: something I'm hoping 2024 brings is more rest, and more time with the people I love 💞 This year has been simultaneously endless and over in a blink and it's been a very exhausting one, emotionally and mentally. I'm very grateful for all of my friends and family and also my cat, who is the best cat

Tagging anyone who would like to participate and also @lantur @firewoodfigs @nightofnyx8 @x-rainflame-x @fullmetalscullyy @janetfraiser @possumsinatrenchcoat @smoothshine @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee @musing-and-music and @littlewitchbee if any of you would like!

[shadesofmauve]

I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.

Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.

He was really nice.

Yeah.

It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?

You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."

You didn't, loves, you didn't.

We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.

I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.

Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.

When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"

No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.

Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?

Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.

That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.

I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.

A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.

I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.

So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!

Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.

You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.

I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.

It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.

Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.

[enemywasp]

I'm sorry I keep posting my tiktok comments but please. What does this mean. What do people THINK shipping is for anymore???

[despazito]

After nearly 20 years of trying to increase the red-headed vulture population, this endangered baby vulture was born in March at the Nakhon Ratchasima Zoo in northeast Thailand. The endangered bird is the first red-headed - also known as Asian king vulture - to be bred in the continent and only the second in the world. X

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

we need to step away from viewing marriage as inherently romantic, or the primary goal of romance. marriage is a legal contract we use to create important ties--financial, medical, next-of-kin, mediating shared property and parental rights. the details vary a lot based on where you are and what paperwork you sign. which is not very romantic! but it does have many real-world effects on our ability to share our lives with our partners.

first and foremost, marriage is a legal right we use to build and protect our families, whatever that family may look like

[rae-butter]

Honestly, I love it when characters relapse. When someone who’s gotten over their anger issues falls into a situation so out of their depth they fall back on their old habits. When someone who’s learned to open up becomes a recluse again in order to cope with something outside their control.

There’s just something so horrible, so toxic, about watching a character grow and then slip back into their old selves in order to cope, bc you know they still care, that they’re the same inside, but watching them hurt so hard they don’t know what else to do brings a sense of catharsis.

[yakityyaku]

very funny (irritating) to me that everyone whined and yelled about stupid rainbow capitalism and how performative wokeness/allyship is a net bad we should all refuse to support and now like.

tumblr is doing nothing for pride and target isn't selling much (if any) of their pride collection offline except at certain stores (in democratic areas, basically) and build a bear has a much tinier collection than normal and all the actual pride stuff is on their "adult" website (not sure if it's in stores, but pride = adult is a hell of a message)

there are genuinely good criticisms for performative allyship in all its applications. it shouldn't be the only thing we expect from people and companies. but if all the shit I see being called performative stopped tomorrow then in terms of the LGBTQ+ community especially we just. wouldn't talk about queerness or queer issues or celebrate pride or do anything.

open your fucking eyes. we are very close politically to having gay marriage rolled back. now companies are basically being let off the hook to even make a miniscule effort (which matters to the people who don't have access to any other kind of support in their communities! which normalizes the community in public spaces!) because the only reaction they have gotten over the last few years are negative ones from BOTH sides.

we are so entrenched in discourse at all times for the sake of our OWN performance of who is the wokest and who is REALLY an ally or a good community member that we have basically handed over all the work of activists of the last several decades to the other side because we'd rather scream at each other over fucking chicken restaurants and shit than the real life backsliding that's happening.

and this goes for other shit too. feminism, poc rights, all of it.

also. trans rights aren't discourse and aren't just culture war arguments. in case any terfs think they can spin this to be antitrans.

[kottkrig]

People liking your personal OCs is still such a crazy feeling, I've been doing this for years and ppl asking about them still fills my entire heart with warmth and idk how to handle it

You enjoy this fictional guy I made up for fun?? Whose only content is random artwork or writing made by me and a handful of other artists at most? They have no show/book/game with a large fandom, it's just one person with an art blog?? I love u

[bc-jpeg]

“ — are you sorry? — are you kidding? ”

[we both reached for the gun — chicago musical]

[xgoldenlatiasx]

I’m really glad that Aaron’s self-immolation for Palestine is getting attention, but on November 8th there was also a Congolese man who did the same thing for the genocide happening in the DRC. From what I read in the article above, his fate and identity are unknown but I think his story should be getting equal amount of traction and I haven’t really seen anyone talking about it on Tumblr specifically yet.

[wanologic]

reminder to take care of your loser human body

[cipheramnesia]

Not perfect and not always right but basically:

Is it a screen shot?

Is there a link?

Did you click/read the link?

Was it a real source (AP wire, local news, the original online post - not Fox, not the Sun, not NY Post, etc)?

Did you find any confirmation?

Did it strongly confirm a bias or suspicion?

Did it make you feel angry, smug, disgusted, superior, and/or helpless?

Is it important enough to you that you think it needs to be shared?

Do you have the energy, time, ability to research, confirm, and provide sources, links, and some additional clarifying details?

Generally I have this in mind, not necessarily always and not always observed, and I forget and blah blah. But it's a pretty simple guide to remember, and honestly items 1 and 9 cover me most of the time.

[ochibrochi]

the first and last time he'll let his brothers pick him up from school (wishful thinking 🙄!)

[verday]

It was so important to me that Stolas was able to be sad throughout the entire episode. Usually media likes to rush a character's grief/depression/sadness. Like "Stop moping around" or "get over it already." Depression doesn't just go away. It is a persistent feeling of sadness.

His depression was also presented through various emotions/emotional states.

Lethargy

Crying

Anger / frustration

Self-blame

Not wanting company and being emotionally drained and unable to reciprocate

We even see him Smiling / Laughing which is so important because we see that he is still in there behind the sadness and tears. His laugh is not as lively as it once but he is still capable of smiling and finding joy.

His problems weren't fix in the end and his sadness didn't go away even if he has someone who loves him by his side (and even if he loves him too). And I think this is one of the best depictions I have seen of a depressed character in media in a long time.

[tanoraqui]

I just love love love that there’s a guy wandering about Dungeon Meshi going, ‘but what are the socioeconomic and geopolitical consequences of this fantasy quest adventure, both while it’s ongoing and after its inevitable completion?! The skillset required to find and kill a Mad Mage is different than that required to responsibly, benevolently and effectively rule a kingdom. I personally must either find a good candidate, somehow make one, or, most likely, take on the whole Mageslayer/King role myself.” Except he doesn’t have the first skillset, and his whole party keeps dying while these highly competent chucklefucks wander past, kill and eat the monster, and save their bodies for the nth time. Kabru would demand to know if Aragorn is familiar with Gondorin tax law. His isekai energy is off the charts, because this is all exactly what I would do if dropped into a fantasy quest adventure, right down to repeatedly dying due to not actually being suited to the genre conventions.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

zany to me how these um actually nihilists like to pretend that "um actually love/friendship/cooperation/kindness isn't real bc we evolved that way to benefit ourselves as a species..." um YES? that's also where tool use comes from? that's where cooking comes from? am i supposed to think social bonds & tool use & cooking aren't "real" because they evolved over time instead of appearing fully formed from the ether?

sorry u can't enjoy things. im a superior being twirling a fork in my bowl of delicious noodles whilst staring in adoration at the world